so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
50% drunk capacity currently
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
