remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize