she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
