Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
