I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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