dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
