Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
