No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
