Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
