FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
