Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
