Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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