she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize