wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
