ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
