I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
