If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
