Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How does one acquire holy water?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
