I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
