Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
