Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
