can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
