He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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