I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
