You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
