I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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