She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize