I need help removing her.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
