Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think your dad took our porno
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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