This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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