brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
no, he came in my armpit
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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