Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize