Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize