My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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