we have officially lost it.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
