Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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