So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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