You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
