He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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