No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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