does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
