I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize