Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize