tell your sister to shave her snatch
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize