i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
