I got chris browned last night
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My friends, they love my intelligence
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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