I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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