Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
handjob tips. give me some.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
