He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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