Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
