My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
