She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
