Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize