Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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