Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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