Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
