I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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