so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
