Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
