R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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