All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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