Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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