she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
