I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
